VA therapy
by Vil-chan
Summary: After all the angst and horror and sadness it is time to kick back and laugh. Read about people with problems who get them solve Or the problems are made worse by the VA crew. Newest Chapter up.
1. Introductions

**There has been so many dark stories for VA lately thanks to Shadow kiss, that I thought we could use a few laughs in this dark world we are all obsessed with, so here START LAUGHING!!!**

**This story will contain charecters the way they were before all the tragedy happen this includes Dimitri, but he will NOT be Strigoi so we can enjoy ourself, Mason will also be here too and he will NOT be a ghost!.**

**Disclaimer: THose damned pink bunnies, they will kill anyone who sues. *Evil laugh***

Lissa: Hello I am Lissa Dragomir, Welcome to VA therapy!

Rose: Why the Hell am I here again?

Lissa: Because you get to get out of your classes?

Rose: Oh, thats right.

Dimitri: Hey Roza *smiles at Rose*

Rose: *stares in awe at him*

Lissa: Hey Rose you okay?

Rose: *Realizes where she is* Oh yea fine just a......headache that all!

Adrian: Whatz up gang, Did the little Dhampir miss me?

Rose: Sure we will go with that.

Adrian: *CHEERS*

Rose: *rolls eyes*

Lissa: anyway so if you got a problem just stop by and we will help you, so hurry up and make your apointment.

Rose: What she means to say is, PUT YOUR ASSES INTO GEAR AND GET OVER HERE.

Lissa: Rose don't be mad at our future customers....hopefully.

Rose: But they won't hurry unless we tell them to! *whining*

Lissa: Alright so hurry on over

Victor: I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND FORCE MY BELIEFS ON THEM!!

Rose: Shut the hell up!

**So if you want to get VA style therapy just fill out this form**

**Name:  
Age:  
Gender:****  
Species:(Moroi, Dhampir, or Strigoi.)  
Hair color:  
Eye color:  
Hair style:  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day:  
Personality:  
Your Problem:  
Who you want to be your therapist:**

**Fill it out through the wonderful revies system and you will get VA therapy fast and quick and FREE!!**

**With Humor and Vampires**

**Vildarra**


	2. The first Patients and a Strigoi

**Whatz up, our first patents appears today, let us celebrate that they are all not sitting there starring at their reflections for fun. Well everyone except Dimitri and Rose and Lissa and CHristian. They all found broom closets and whatnot and life has gone on from then!**

**I have noticed that everyone seems to want Dimitri, I know he is hot and stuff but geeze give the guy a break! Some one pick Victor, he would be a nice Therapist lol**

**Oh um Rilie I have no idea what Spinache means so your gonna be a girl. Tell me if this is wrong and I will change it.**

**Disclaimer: The bunnies are "watching"!! **

Lissa and Christian lay together in one of the therapy chair, flirting playfully with each other. Rose and Dimitr sat on oposite sides of the room trying not to make eye-contact. Things would go horrible for them if Eye-contact were made. Victor Dashkov sat on the sign in counter at the front of the small building that was home to there small therapy buisness.

"Remind me why I am here again?" Victor said to no one in particular as he sat there bored out of his wits.

"Your here cause the damn prison guards got so tired of you they sent you to do some comunity service." Rose answered imediately so none would answer incorrectly.

Victor sighed and he ran a hand through his black lucious hair, Lissa was using compulsion on him so he would not try to attack them and steal Lissa away for her magic and Rose away for a science expirement.

Victor leaned back and laid on the counter, he kept getting more bored by the minute, until the silver bell that hung above the door rang and a dhampir walked in. It was none other then Guardian Alto himself, "I was told my Kirova to come help Dimitri watch you kids!" he explained quickly, walking towards the back were the group was chilling out.

The bell ran again, but this time Rose was on desk duty. A girl walked in and the slight breeze from outside ruffled her **long** brown hair. Her coconut eyes gazed at Rose with no change in mood of the way she held herself. Rose handed her the sign in sheet, when she signed in she asked her one question, "Who do you want to be your Therapist?" she asked trying to sound polite. The girl slowly lifted a finger to point at Stan Alto reclining back in one of the chairs. Dimitri started to laugh and everyone joined in, "Hey um, Guardian Alto, how much do you know about therapy?" Christian said between laughs. Stan looked alittle puzzled and then noticed the girl's pointing hand, "Oh no way in hell." he said backing away. Dimitri got behind him and pushed him towards the front counter.

"Her name is Rilie." Rose said before breaking out in another set of uncontrollable giggles.

Stan finally gave in and led Rilie to one of the open rooms to the opposite side of the sign-in counter and they dissapeared into a room.

_____________________________________________________________

Just as soon as Stan went to a therapy room with his patient, she door opened again to reveal yet again another girl standing in the door, night had fallen and her features were not as visable, "Welcome to VA therapy." Dimitri called from the front counter, the others had forced him to take desk duty . He pushed out the sign-in sheet, "Put your name here and then point to who you want to be your therapist." Dimitri said looking up. At first he didn't get it, but one looked into her eyes told him.

He shot up from where he was standing and started swearing unmistakingly in Russian. He drew a silver stake and tried to charge her, but she moved out of the way. Rose dashed over and tried to restrain Dimitri, which she was enjoying way to much, "Dimitri, wha.." she turned to look at the girl, "HOLY SHIT!" she screamed letting go off Dimitri.

Lissa ran in, attracted by the loud noises, She too did not understand what was going on till she got a good look at the newcomer and she ran back, into Christian's protective arms, screaming her head off.

"I mean no harm." The girl spoke quietly, "I got a bit of a problem and I need it solved, and I want my Therapist to be you." She said point directly at Dimitri. "I just ate before coming here so you have nothing to fear." she added on quickly. She stood in a impatient posture, her skinny jeans huging her perfectly, but her unearthly pale skin seemed almost to get lighter under the poor lighting in the building.

Dimitri kept his stake out but chilled and walked her to one of the spare rooms.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"So ah miss Rilie is it?" Stan Alto said to his patient in the sound proof room.

SHe nodded

"What is your problem?" he asked glancing down at his clipboard, which he had started to doodle on.

"I have no personality." She said in monotone, playing with the edges of her, ball gown?

"Now that can't possible be true."

"It is."

"Would someone with no personality pick a ball gown to wear to a therapy meeting?" Stan asked, thinking he had cornered her.

"I was forced into this by my little sister." she answered still in monotone.

This was agrivating Stan, he just couldn't win. He stood up and shook her viloently by her shoulder, "Everyone had a personality, it is what makes us unique!" he said almost yelling now, "What are your hobbies?" he asked briefly sounding calm.

"Umm playing golf." she said with a slight tint of hope in her monotone.

"DAMN IT!" he yelled, "We got some real work ahead of us! Wait did I actually hear you use a different tone?" He sounded more then hopeful.

**Poor Stan, he has got a long ways to go, lets check up on Dimitri.**

**______________________________**

"So what is your name?" Dimitri asked, still tense and ready to strike at anytime.

"Anna." she stated, her face void of any emotions.

"Okay Anna, what is your problem?" he asked not taking time to look down or around, his eyes stayed focused on Anna.

"I have no emotions."

"Well no shit, your Strigoi!" he said starting to laugh.

"SHUT UP!" she screamed her eyes becoming hateful and malicous.

"There now you have emotions, see ya later thanks for coming!" he said pushing her out of the room.

Dimitri was staring at Rose when he came out, in his mind, he wanted to do some verrrrrrry dirty things with her, but he had to restrain it, for his, Rose, and Lissa's sake. The strigoi walked out grumbling something about a rip-off and walked out the front doors she came in.

Dimitri was cheering on the inside when he left, but as usual he remained his cool calm self and took back the front counter duity from Rose.

_____________________

Stan was not nearly as far with his patient as Dimitri had gotten in a few minutes. The only thing he had acoplished was to get her to use different tones to express things. Now he had to build up hobbies and that was not working very well.

He was ready just to give up and call it a night, but he was Determind that he would solve this patient's problem, "Rilie, do you see anything that sparks your interest?" he asked as he held a number of assorted items in his lap. Rilie shook her head no and Stan sighed exaperated.

____________________________

Dimitri was on alert as another girl walked threw the door, _what is this, attack of the females?_ he thought sarcastically. He pushed her the sign-in sheet after deciding she was not Strigoi, "Once your done tell me who you want to be your therapist." She girl started to twitter "THey won't like leave me will they?" she asked paranoid. Dimitri shook his head and smiled reassuringly, "We will stay with you till your problems are solved."

The girl smiled and started to jump up and down, "Yay, the cute russian won't leave me!" she exclaimed, "Oooooo I wan't the cute, no HOT russian to be my therapist!" she said jumping up to hug him around the neck.

Rose nearly jumped up from where she was a beat the holy shit out of the girl clinging onto Dimitri. Dimitr pulled her off and lead her to one of the therapy rooms.

____________________________________________________________

"So what is you name miss?" Dimitri asked after he forced her to let go of him and sat her in one of the chairs.

"Skylar!" she said jumping up again to cling on Dimitri, "Don't leave me, uh, what is your name?"

"Dimitri Belvok."

"Don't leave me Dimitri, hey thats a cute name!" she said jumping away to sit down again.

"So um, what is your problem Miss Skylar?"

"Everyone is going to leave me!" she whinned

"No there not."

"Yes they are, everyone thinks I'm annoying so they all leave me alone and I hate being alone!"

Dimitri sighed, he was not going to be as lucky as he was last time.

"See thats what I mean EVERYONE IS GOING TO LEAVE ME!"

_____________________________

"Mr. Alto, this therapy thing isn't working I think." Rilie said making sure to add some tone variation to her speech.

"Shut up, it is working, just not very fast!" Stan Alto said quickly, trying to not let the doubt sink in.

"I only have one hobbie and it is golf, It was like that an hour ago and a hour from now it will be the same!" she siad starting to yell.

"Ah ha, it is working, you just showed some emotion!" he said triumpantly.

"I'm not here to learn emotions, I need to find a personality." she pointed out.

Stan cursed under his breath. This therapy had made very little progress.

**______________________---**

**So What do you all think, what happens to everyone will be told in the next chapter. Sorry to the Strigoi person, the only other thing I could think of is that Dimitri would stake you instantly as soon as he realized what you were, so be lucky that you walked away with your life ^^.**

**R&R tell me how it went.**

**With humor and vampires**

**Vildarra**


	3. Anime screws you up

**It is time for some good old fashion humor........**

**Our next patients for VA therapy are to be the most screwed up out of the bunch and I decided to change the way I wrote it. Just using a different format though nothing else. Tell me whatcha think ^-^**

Dimitri:Skylar....nobody is going to leave you, I'm not going to.** Hugs Skylar  
**Skylar: **blush **I got an idea, so I will never have to leave you.....I WILL WORK HERE!!!!!  
Dimitri:Eh?  
Skylar: You heard **^-^  
**Dimitri: Uhhhh  
Skylar: I KNEW IT....YOU ARE GONNA LEAVE ME  
Dimitri: no....no I'm not, you can work here, just please stop with the screaming.  
Skylar: YAY HOT RUSSIAN IS MINE!!!!!  
Dimitri:** Sigh**

_______________________-

Stan: So you have emotions now and a personality is on its way...hopefully  
Rilie: I hope so....  
Stan: I know what will give you a personality  
Rilie: What?** hopeful glint in her eye  
**Stan: TO THE ANIME!!!!!!!!

A couple of minute later......

Rilie: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...........that anime guy was sooooooo hot.  
Stan: thats the spirit!!!!

_____________________________________________________

** Dimitri and Stan come out with there patients at the same time.**

Dimitri: We have someone who is working here, she just joined like 10 seconds ago.  
Stan: Well I gave my customer a personality, it is a rabid fangirl personality but either way, she is now unique.  
Dimitri: Along with all the other rabid obsessed fangirls  
Stan: Shaddup Belikov  
Rilie: *Runs around screaming about some random anime guy*  
Skylar: *Stands next to Dimitri, snuggling his arm*  
Rose: WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING DIMITRI? *points at Skylar*  
Dimitri: *Doesn't make eye-contact* she works here now  
Rose: WHAT THE FU-  
Lissa: *Cuts her off* well anyway, thanks for reading this therapy session, and please come back soon  
Everyone, except Rose, Dimitri, and SKylar: BYE BYE ^-^

** Sorry about taking so long to post up next chappie, I totally forgot about this story trying to write the next chapter for all my other stories. Please forgive me oh awsome readers.**

** With My awsome apology and vampires**

** Vildara  
**


	4. Every person and their sister

** Alright lets see, some new patients should be really good, before my readers rip my throat out, and I am also going back to my old style of writing, people liked it better I guess, but it made things simple on me TT-TT.**

After taking care of the two patients, only one left. Skylar still clung on to Dimitri's arm, sticking her tongue out at Rose, when the next patient walked in. Lissa and Christian happened to be working the front desk when she filled out her form

Name: Kate  
Age: 14  
Gender: Female  
Species:(Moroi, Dhampir, or Strigoi.) Dhampir  
Hair color: Brown  
Eye color: Brown  
Hair style: dont really have 1. its longish  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day: grey Jeans and a grey shirt  
Personality: warmish, but dont ** me off or youll be in trouble  
Your Problem: I am in love with Dimitri.  
Who you want to be your therapist: Dimitri/Rose

Lissa looked at the application warily, "Dimitri, Rose, you both have a patient!" she yelled as they rushed in here. Skylar still clung to Dimitri's arm and it took alot of people to get her off. Then they turned to stare at this Long haired brunett in straight grey clothes. Her hair was braided and pushed over her shoulder, they escorted her to an empty therapy room and at her on a fluffy beige couch. "So Kate, you problem is your in love with Dimitri?" Rose asked through gritted teeth. Kate nodded, "DAMNIT ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!" she yelled, before sitting down.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lissa and Christian were still working the front counter when there next patient walked in, she filled out an application form and gave it to Christian, he chuckled and handed it to Lissa who sighed.

Name:Analeigh (Ana)  
Age:16  
Gender:Female  
Species: Dhampir  
Hair color: Brunette  
Eye color: Green  
Hair style: straight-cut fringe and pin-straight hair down to the shoulders.  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day: Jeans, boots, and a sweater  
Personality: Mood swingy, PMS-esque  
Your Problem: Anger management  
Who you want to be your therapist: Hm...Rose or Lissa.

"Rose is kinda busy so that means me." she mumbled to herself. The girl got visibally irritated, "IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH THAT BITCH!!!!" she yelled loudly. Lissa sweatdropped, "No none at all." she said, leading her to a therapy room right next to the one Rose and Dimitri were using.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"WHY IS EVERYONE AND THEIR SISTER ATTRACTED TO DIMITRI!!!!" Rose screamed, throwing a temper tantrum. Dimitri sighed and Kate looked at her curiously. Rose suddenly stopped and got an evil smile on her face, "I know what will make her fall outta love for the time being!" Rose exclaimed, running up to Dimitri and kissing him passionaitely. Kate's back away, "Ah Damnit he is taken." she said, running out crying.

Dimitri ripped Rose of him, "ROZA!!!" he said, caught of guard. "Hey it got rid of her, now to go kill that Skylar bitch!' she said walking out. Dimitri grabbed her hair and sighed, "Not so fast Rose." he said, rolling his eyes. They walked out, just in time to see someone else filling out a application form, Christian looked at it, "Dimitri and Arian, you got yourself a patient." Adrian ran in and grabbed her arm, "Of course." he said dragging her off, Dimitri followed. Reading the application form over Adrian's shoulder.

Name:Chloe  
Age:17  
Gender:Female  
Species:Moroi  
Hair color:Dark brown/red  
Eye color:Brown  
Hair style:Mid length, fringe, layers, some highlights  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day:Jeans, ugg boots, tank top, cardigan.  
Personality:Blunt,vauge,amused  
Your Problem:I can see the future and nobody beleives me, and i keep having prophesies about a certain hot russian and a certain evil breed of vampire  
Who you want to be your therapist:Adrian/Dimitri

Rose was alone and she went in the direction of Skylar......poor Skylar.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**What will happen now, Lissa with a moody patient, Rose is gonna kill Skylar and Dimitri and Adrian have....someone who sees the future, what the hell?!**

** Please tune in next time to see what it is ^-^**

** With wierdness and Vampires**

** vildarra.  
**


	5. Three Rabid cats and a fricken Car alarm

**Forewarning to whom ever Skylar belongs to, I APOLOGIZE WITH ALL OUR MY MESSED UP MIND AND HEART............anyway WOOT! New chappie be out......Every one Love me because I is awesome, though I prolly suck for making you all wait ._."**

**Disclaimer: Alright we know already I don't own VA but I do OWN JOO ALL!!! ;)**

Rose chased Skylar all around the building, threatening to kill her, ripping her body apart piece by piece and throwing the pieces into different seas and oceans.

Meanwhile with Analeigh........

"Sooooo, anger management problems is it?" Lissa asked, scrunched into the furthest corner in the room while Analeigh sat on the other side of the room"Yea."

"Do you know why you have these anger management problems?""Because I do."

"Analeigh, please give me an answer."

"CALL MY ANA BITAZZZ!!"

"Ummm, okay then, Ana, do you have the faintest idea why you might have these issues?" Lissa asked, sweating giant bullets.

"BECAUSE I DO, I TOLD YOU THAT ALREADY DUMB ASS!!!" Ana screamed at her.

"Alright then. You wouldn't happen to be on you period would you?" Lissa asked her, with her eyebrow raised.

"No! If I was I wouldn't come in for therapy numb skull." Ana said, snickering at Lissa.

"Alright that is it, you are on bitch!" Lissa yelled at her standing up.

"Bring it small fry!" Ana bitched back at her, as they charged the small space between each other and started to cat fight.

And while this is going on.......

Dimitri stared at Chloe, she had just told him he would turn into a Strigoi and yada yada. Adrian was grinning from ear to ear, "Guess that means Rose is mine!" Adrian said, standing up and cheering like a moron.

Dimitri stared at him with a "Yea right" gaze and Adrian laughed at him, and started to do and very corny victory dance.

Poor Chloe was staring at the two unsure of what to do, she could feel the tension in the air and knew this was going to end poorly.

Her vision again came true when Dimitri pushed up his sleeves and socked Adrian in the jaw and Adrian bitch slapped him back, and they fought.

Pity should be felt for Chloe as she watch two hot guys try to kill each other, wait......hot guys? Never mind, cheer for Chloe she has it good!

__________________________

And while this fight is going on.....

Rose had finally caught Skylar, and kicked her in the abdomen, Skylar then turned around and punched her and yet another fight broke out. All of the non fighting bystanders just watched, some cheered for Rose and others just cheered for the fight and others, they just watched, no one attempted to break up the fight in fear of Rose's wrath.

A few Hours later.......

Lissa and Ana walked out of the therapy room, yanking on each other's hair.

At the same time, Dimitri walked out of the therapy room with a K.O(knocked out) Adrian draped over his shoulder and a dazed looking Chloe standing next to him, who fled for the door as soon as possible, screaming something about hot guys fighting.....

Rose was still fighting with Skylar when Dimitri came out and threw Adrian on the floor and restrained Rose, who had a few scratches and bruises, but from the looks of it, Skylar got the worse of the beating, with two black eyes because her nose was broken, and an open gash on her right arm.

Rose smiled and pulled away from Dimitri, punching Skylar in the jaw as she was getting up, knocking her out and throwing her out an open window. You could hear a string of cuss words and the sound of a Rabid cat, and a car alarm going off.

Rose then turned to Ana and broke her grip on Lissa's hair and Lissa's grip on Ana's hair and threw her out the same window.

You could hear Ana land on top of Skylar and more loud and defined cuss words rung out, with the sound of two or three rabid cats and the same damn car alarm going off.

"My chores are done, I took out the trash!" Rose said, folding her arms under her breast smugly.

Knowing to them, a girl with blonde, shoulder length hair and green eyes with the slight tint of yellow was watching Rose throw the two patients out the window and onto the car and three rabid cats.

**I apologize to Skylar's creator, Analeigh's creator, and Chloe's creator, awesome characters, but I have to keep the violent humor coming for da readers, if you are pissed at me I might make a special chappie later on about all of the patients and after the therapy.**

**With Envious and mostly insane vampires**

**----Vil-Chan**


	6. ADRIAN GALORE!

**I'M BAAAAAACK...you know you missed me ^o^, anyways, here is goes, the new chapter of Vampire Academy therapy.**

**Disclaimer: I no own VA, but I own joo all with my taco! ^-^**

Lissa just stared, "Rose....really? Did you have to throw her out the window?" she asked. Had this been an anime she would have a sweatdrop on top of her head. Rose shrugged, "They all must die!" she said, laughing the evil laugh!

Dimitri shrugged, "That was bad Rose." he said, winking at her behind everyones back. The door opened and everyone dashed to see who it was, A girl with dark brown hair in long layers that seemed to bounce as she walked, her green eyes flickering from person to person, "This place sucks ass, can't you get a better place if you are trying to treat people's issues you should also look more professional then standing there like a bunch of idiot!" she said, folding her arms under her breasts cockily. Suddenly though her posture changed to a little shy, "Oh my god I'm so sorry, I never meant to say that, I think this building is lovely." Everyone stared, and Christian handed her a form to fill out.

"Why the hell do you need to know what I'm wearing." she asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at them like they were idiots.

Name:Carla  
Age: 24  
Gender:Female  
Species:(Moroi, Dhampir, or Strigoi.)Dhampir  
Hair color:Dark brown  
Eye color:Green  
Hair style:Long layers  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day:Jeans shirt and cute heels  
Personality:Strong, opinionated, a tad bitchy/ sweet kind introverted  
Your Problem: Split personality  
Who you want to be your therapist:Adrian :)

Adrian was still knocked out after his little......fight....with Dimitri, and Rose poured hot water on him, "UWAH!!" he screamed jumping in the air.

"You have a patient." she said, pointing at Carla.

"Oh." he took her arm and led her off, she punched him into the dirt and cussed him out, storming off to a therapy room, and Adrian followed like a lost puppy.

As soon as she was in the room, the door slammed open again, two people walking in at the same time.

One with straight, shoulder-length, brown hair. She looked depressed.

The other one to walk in was another female dhampir, with brown hair as well, short, and leaving no part of her neck exposed. She glanced around and looked dissapointed not to find Adrian.

Dimitri happened to be working the desk at this point and handed them both a sheet, "I think Roza might be onto something with her whole "Attack of the females." he muttered under his breath.

Name:Lisa  
Age:21  
Gender:Female  
Species:(Moroi, Dhampir, or Strigoi.)Dhapmir  
Hair color:Brown  
Eye color:Brown  
Hair style:Straight, shoulder length  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day: jeans and a cute top  
Personality: aggressive, neurotic, caring  
Your Problem: I don't want to be a guardian or raise children. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.  
Who you want to be your therapist:Dimitri, Rose, or Adrian :)

Name: Aspen  
Age: 18  
Gender: Female  
Species: Dhampir  
Hair Color: Dark Brown  
Eye Color: Green  
Hair Style: Short, wraps around neck  
Clothing: Um, make something up  
Personality: Adrian Fan Girl (I wonder how that will turn out)  
My Problem: Adrian needs more book time/ Rose is an idiot and doesn't know what she's missing  
My Therapist: Adrian

And as if to confirm it, another female walked in, this time Moroi, with Chestnut brown hair, that was wavy, kinda frizzy, and rather long. As the first two went to go sit down she filled out a therapy form.

Name: Marie  
Age: 17  
Gender: female  
Species:(Moroi, Dhampir, or Strigoi.) Moroi  
Hair color: chestnut brown  
Eye color: light brown  
Hair style: wavy, long  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day: blue skinny and a yellow v-neck sweater  
Personality: quiet but when ** of can become really mean  
Your Problem: haven't specialized in a element which make me mad & when people make me mad lightning comes out of my hands  
Who you want to be your therapist: adrian

And again another female walked in, another Dhampir, as Marie sat down. She came and filled out a form. Dimitri was starting to get confused as to why so many people had starting pig-piling in.

name: Ruiti  
age: 15  
species: dhampir  
hair color: black  
eye color: dark brown  
hair style: layered and straight  
clothing: skinny jeans and a black shirt that says "come to the dark side, we have cookies."  
personality: gets very happy and hyper with friends, but gets tired and sloggish when bored or alone. likes to play with peoples hair.  
problem: cant seem to find a guy that will stay with her for more than 3 hours  
therapist: rose

He massaged his temples and told Ruiti to go sit down, she did as he bade and he sorted through the forms

"Adrian...Adrian...Adrian.....I'm starting to see a pattern here." he mumbled, grouchily.

And again, another female walks in, and Dimitri had a tough time trying to figure out if she was Moroi or Dhampir, she filled out the form and handed it to him

Name:Hayley  
Age:16  
Gender:female  
Species human  
Hair color:dirty blond  
Eye color:blue  
Hair style:wavy  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day:black pumps dark blue skiny jeans white tank top leather jacket  
Personality:loud hyper crazy athletic and tiny bit violent (really good at kicking people asses)  
Your Problem:i want to be a guardian but I'm human  
Who you want to be your therapist: Stan

He added it to the pile and waited, sure enough, someone else walked in,

Name: Meggie  
Age: 18  
Gender: Female  
Species:Dhampir  
Hair color: Blond  
Eye color: Blue  
Hair style: Long but pulled up in ponytail all the time  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day: Jeans, hoodie, t-shirt underneath, and sandals  
Personality: Funny, easy going, can be serious when need to be and sympathetic  
Your Problem: (similar to what happens in SK) I want one guy, another wants me, I can't be with the guy I want due to circumstances beyond my control. I want to know what the crew would say to help, especially Rose, Dimitri, and Adrian  
Who you want to be your therapist: See above

Another walked in, "I think thats all." Dimitri said cheering.

Name:Eve(pronounced Ev)  
Age:16  
Gender:female  
Species:dhampir  
Hair color:brown  
Eye color:brown w/ almost unnoticable blue flecks  
Hair style:shoulder length layers  
Clothing you will be wearing on the appointment day:jeans and a tank top with a red sweater  
Personality:happy when around 1-4 people, funny, sarcastic, good listener  
Your Problem:I'm such a good listener i get depressed when listening to people's stories and i can't become angry.  
Who you want to be your therapist: Dimitri or Christian

Rose came in, saw the waiting room, and started to walk out, Dimitri grabbed the back of her shirt, "Hold it, you have a patient or two." he said.

"Ruiti!" he called out, and the girl with black hair, straight with many layers stood up, and Dimitri pointed to the empty therapy room next to Adrian's.

"And if you want to have Adrian as a therapist you have to wait!" he shouted, over their talking, which had gotten pretty loud.

A set of very audible awws rung out, and the girls started talking very fast, "But I want Adrian now!"

one of them called out, and the rest cheered in agreement.

"Calm down!" he said, trying to get them to STFU!!!!

"Don't make a fangirl calm down!" Aspen shouted, about to charge him with her rabid fangirl powers.

"So....Carla?" Adrian looked unsure, "You have.....a split personality?" he asked.

Carla nodded.

"So exactly what is the difference between your two personalities?"

"Your an idiot and Rose will never give you a chance." she looked pissed, then suddenly she changed.

"OMG did I say that? I'm so sorry, I think you and Rose have a fighting chance."

Adrian stared, "I see." he said, "Maybe we should try to find a median point between the two of them?

Carla shrugged, "I think therapy is stupid, and you are an idiot for doing this."

Carla then changed, "Omg I'm sorry again, I think that this therapy is my last chance.."

Adrian sighed and planted the palm of his hand to his face.

"Where is Adrian?" Aspen shouted, holding Dimitri up by the front of his shirt and the rest of the girls who wanted Adrian swarming around her like bees.

Dimitri pointed to the therapy room that Adrian was in, he couldn't take much more of the rabid fangirls.

They all grinned and charged for the room, breaking the door. Aspen glomped Adrian and knocked him back with the force of it, "OMG I WILL LOVE-RAPE YOU ADRIAN!" she said.

Rose stared at Ruiti, who suddenly got facinated with her hair and was playing with it, braiding it, and holding it between two fingers, and from somewhere she got a brush and started brushing her hair. Rose was obviously uncomfortable.

"So uh....Ruiti? Unique name by the way, what is your problem."

"Guy troubles." she said, blushing slightly.

**TO BE CONTINUED...........**

**Sorry if this doesn't live up to the standards it must, but I was trying to finish up the page and this was the only way I could think off, please don't hurt me, and just laugh and enjoy the Adrian love ^o^**

**With Adrian and Dimitri obsessed vampires(and a human)**

**Vil-chan.**


	7. COOKIES!

**Sorry about taking so long to update, I really have no excuse this time.....**

**Disclaimer: I no own VA....*does CarmellDansen***

Adrian was running around from his fangirls, Carla was screaming at them, and then something came in through the window. Large enough to be a humanoid, this suprise entrance was enough to make the fangirls freeze. The person who had entered was dressed like a ninja, with a few blonde strands of hair falling around her face, "Gimme the cookies and nobody gets hurt." she said, dead on serious. Her katana was drawn in one hand and shurikens in the other.

"W-Who are you?" Aspen asked, trying not to giggle, but still slightly frightened by the strangeness of the person

"I'M A GODDAMN COOKIE NINJA WHERE ARE MY COOKIES?!!!" she yelled.

Adrian nodded once, and used her distraction as a way to excape.

_____________

Rose blinked, _Of all the people to come to me, the one with guy troubles_ she thought.  
"So umm, what exactly is the problem?" Rose asked Ruiti.

"I can't seem to find a guy who will stay with me more then three hours."

"There is simply no way in hell."

Ruiti pulled out a spiral notebook and handed it to her. Rose raised an eyebrow and flipped to the first page, _Mathew Filigan, 2 hours 30 minutes. Howard Daniels, 1 hour 10 minutes. Gaelen Jeevs 30 minutes. Shawn Browhan, 3 hours..._and so on and so forth...

Rose got to about page three, and gave up, "I see your point." as Ruiti had said, none passed the three hour marker. She handed the notebook back to her and let out a breath of air, "I don't know what to say."

_________

As Ruiti's therapy transgressed, The Cookie Ninja had single-handedly incapitated the entire entourage of Adrian fangirls. And then walked out of the room, still dressed in her ninja attire as she walked up to the therapy desk and let out an ear-shattering screech, which woke up the receptionalist asleep there(aka Christian).

"WHAT THE HELL?!" he yelled, which made Lissa run in from the back room and yelp in suprise from seeing the ninja girl there.

"Hi, I'm the cookie ninja, and I'd like to apply for a job here."

After Christian got over the initial shock, "Do you have a real name?"

"Yes." she said, cheerfully.

"And that is."

"Cookie Ninja."

Christian blinked, "No I mean like a birth name, what is the name on your birth certificate?"

"Cookie ninja!" she said, starting to get a little irate.

Christian let out a sigh of exasberation. Lissa blinked, "Do I have any patients?"

"Not that I remember, but I think Guardian Alto does, please go find him?"

Lissa nodded and left Christian alone with Cookie Ninja, who, as soon as Lissa left, drew her katana, "Now where are the cookies?"

Truely she was a Cookie Ninja.

**Hope this quenches the thirst for humor till I can get the next Chapter up, yes Cookie Ninja is now a therapist, no I would not reccomend her for good therapy. But for humors sake, LET THE COOKIE NINJA REIGN**

**With Cookies and the Ninjas who seek them**

**Vil-chan.**


End file.
